Unsure

Sometimes I wonder why I am where I am right now?
I always tell myself I am blessed for what I have now.
BUT I feel something is missing...

Why does it have to be me?
At times I wished I left everything behind and start a brand new life.
BUT no matter what, nothing is gonna change from what I have been thru.
It's not like what I want to forget will in turn be a lost memory.

Although I feel lucky to have a couple of people supporting me BUT I don't feel strong enough.
I feel helpless at times.

I was once told I always wear my happy mask. Never much show how I really feel inside.
It's not I don't want to be an extrovert. I just dislike making people around me worried or unhappy about the circumstances I am facing.

I guess that's why I always feel bad about myself.

I don't know what
I don't know why
I don't know where
I don't know how

Helpless................
AND
I
AM
GOING
TO
BURST
AGAIN!!!!!!